"As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting."
, winner of the 2012 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. The other delightfully convoluted winning sentences are available here
. (via millionsmillions